Cancel Culture Hits Home, And Hits hard

The grown up version, always more colorful.

This is a tough post to make, after a long day. I’ve been well aware of the consequences of daring to speak my mind. Perhaps I’ve said some things that are hurtful, but I never meant to hurt anyone. Perhaps my opinions are unpopular, but they are genuine. Perhaps this world is beyond reason and incapable of understanding context. You really can’t judge me by a single article of hundreds, if not thousands I’ve made.

As those who follow me know, I’ve been struggling to maintain a job. I was just fired today from a job I felt was working well. This morning I started my day by chatting with the HR lady at the establishment I was working for. She was totally cool and we talked like friends. I picked up nothing that could have come across as trouble. She seemed to be approving of my work and was satisfied with my presence.

I then went on with my day, picking up a job that was sold long ago and was not well thought out. I worked with 2 really great young men. They are both great fellas that I felt good about working with. I hope they’re both going to be successful and happy in a trade that has served myself well. From what I know, they were not offended by me at all. I have gone out of my way to avoid politics, religion, or anything that’s not related to work. I have spoken on some very vague issues, but I did not bring my politics to work. Period.

As we returned to the shop and began to unload and clean up, the owner asked me to swing by his office for a “pow wow”. I was so caught off guard that I actually was expecting to finally get the work truck that was part of the offer letter I accepted. I’ve been there a half hour early every single day because the train schedule is such, that I had to either be early or late. I refused to be late, to complain about anything, or harp on the hardship of lugging around tools on public transport. I really tried to just be honest, bust my ass, and prove my worth with my actions. Talk is cheap, and I know this better than most.

I interviewed with the owner for nearly 3 hours. I worked without making waves for as many weeks. Their cause, which it was made crystal clear to me, I wasn’t entitled to, was my “online presence”. Folks, I have no online presence. I began to google my name, my name plus podcast, and tons of other vague searches for myself. I found nothing. Not my website, not my podcast, not a single thing that could even suggest I have an “online presence”. I made comment about my having a website during the interview, and asked that it be left out of my professional life. I only mentioned it to provide an answer to my personal hobbies. I admitted to having a site but refused to say the name, for obvious reasons.

If this was going to be an issue, it sure coulda been found before hiring me. If they were so concerned with my online presence, they could have vetted me better. They perhaps should have. The fact that they didn’t seem to mind, and did offer me the job was a blessing, I thought. I can’t figure out why this became an issue, or why it was such an issue that I must be fired for it. He likened my presence to a live grenade, that was just waiting to destroy his company. Whether he knew of my opinions prior to today, I will not likely ever know. I can say that from all outward appearances, things were going well.

He treated me as if I had personally offended him, and acted as if I was barely worthy of a handshake. I shook his hand and said as little as I could manage. I kept my cool and remained polite. I asked him if I could keep a duffel bag he bought for everyone to carry my tools home. He knew I was taking the train, and I had more tools with me than I could physically carry home. Thank God for friends. One of my best, picked me up and gave me a ride home. They did give me a couple garbage bags to carry the hundred pounds of gear I had to brought in. I said thank you, and quietly headed down the street. Looking totally exhausted, depressed, and basically homeless.

That’s where I’m headed folks. I simply had no time to accrue any actual money that can get me to my next destination. My storage is going to be sold. My landlord is going to kick me out. My mother, hasn’t answered my texts, calls, or anything in weeks. Perhaps she’s offended as well. I have become very comfortable with this medium, and I treat it like a personal journal. Many of my podcast episodes were not posted to my site as articles. They were just off the top of my head and from my heart at whatever level it was in.

I am nothing if not heart. I am genuine, honest, and I work hard. This is not in question. This was not why I was treated like a Neo-NAZI, myself. I really felt the disgust they had for me, it was very plain. It was obviously far from the prior experience we had, had with each other. It was so far from the morning, it left me speechless. For y’all that have been in my “online presence”, ya know I’m not usually at a loss for words. This time, however, I simply had nothing to say, and didn’t want it to be worse. Even now, I won’t say who it was, by name or business. I don’t actually regard this man in any way negative, other than the fact that I feel short changed.

Not money, they paid me in full, not a cent more, but not noticeably less. I feel like I offered myself to him, and did exactly what I was hired to do. I treat people with respect and was not disrespectful to anyone. I do believe this was unprofessional, unprovoked, and unfair. Life is a bitch. I know that fairness is a childish concept. Even so, I do understand the way it can grind on people, and crush a spirit in crisis. My spirit is broken. My self awareness, outlook, and mind is broken.

Despair is my new normal. This rude awakening to a culture of constant disinterest, is finally taken its toll. I have now written several hundred articles about everything, from a personal apology to my daughter, to the very heart of what I believe to be true. I did this all without monetary gain, or even much feedback, or hatred from anyone. The few folks that have engaged with me through this medium have been encouraging, pleasant, and even diverse, by todays looney standards. My first comment, and pleasant back and forth, was with a black woman from North Carolina. I haven’t heard from her in quite a time and I suspect that she’s moved on to something else. I don’t presume to know her heart, but she came off very nice to me.

I can’t erase the internet. I can’t be someone I’m not. I am exactly who I presented myself to be, and was under the impression that I had done as I said I would. I have gone as far as I can to make plain, that I don’t judge individuals based upon anything but personal experience. I treat everyone I meet the best I can the first time we meet, and then I try to match the other’s behavior towards myself. With bosses, I take what I’m given, and I ask for seconds.

I’m old school, and I am impressed with anyone that can build a profitable, honest, and valuable business. I look up to businessmen, and actually believe in their word when they offer it. I would never steal, lie about wages, or take anything that’s not mine. I try to approach all jobs from the perspective of the owner, and act in the best interest of their company. In every act I make, while in the pay of another, I contemplate the consequences to the company’s stated mission. I have never been a problem for the clients I’ve served. I’ve not done anything that reflects upon this man’s name, at all. This resulted from opinions, that they have made mine. Did they read all of the things I’ve said? Could they have, in between this morning and whenever they decided I was offensive to be around? No. Clearly not.

If they found my site, I’m absolutely sure it was given a tiny look, compared to the amount of actual content I’ve produced. There’s no way he read my “blog” from start to finish. There’s no way he could intelligently gauge my character by skimming through my personal thoughts. There’s no chance that he made any effort to even read it.

My post on Hitler came just recently. Prior to very recently I have declined to speak on this particular man. Even myself, am not sure how I feel about him. I simply made public, if you can call it that, that this man has been mythologized to be a monster, and dehumanized completely. I made the case as the “devil’s advocate”. Now I’m being treated as the devil himself. I don’t think I said anything that was personal, hateful, or even admirable about Adolf Hitler. I made comments about his speeches, and sure, I do admire some of the speeches he made. Does this make me an evil person? Does this make me a NAZI, because I prefer to know history from all perspectives? Perhaps I should have expected it would.

I’ve been as crystal clear as I can be. I am an anarchist. I abhor the state, and Hitler was an authoritarian. I said I could be comfortable in his country, because all I want is to live and let live. I’m not a libertine, I’m a libertarian. If given the choice to live in either the Soviet Union, or Germany in the 1930’s, I’ve said I would choose Germany. Does this make me evil? Is this cause to see me hurt? Is this a strike upon my own humanity, or value to a company? Even if it’s absolutely personal, and mine alone? I’m a private property absolutest. I except this man’s right to reject me. I don’t want to be employed by someone that thinks I’m a disgusting human being. I just got caught off guard by the disgust.

I made one personal comment regarding my belief about the shape, and size of the Earth we call home. I immediately found my opinion to be unappreciated by the fella I was with. I back peddled and told him we never had to discuss it, nor would I even bring it up ever again. He was so turned off by it that I was surprised, and really tried to change the subject. I asked him to tell me about himself. He then told me a little bit about his personal hobbies, and a little personal history. Very civil, and content with keeping things kinda surface level. It was clear we weren’t going to be besties, but offended? Well I guess he was.

Besides this single exchange, I am at a loss for what I could have done to offend anyone. The man who fired me said that the people I worked with had made it plain that I was offensive. When I asked what it was, I was given nothing but a reminder that I wasn’t entitled to anything. I can’t argue with that, but I can ask why. Since this seems like a very harsh reaction to such an irrelevant subject, I assume that someone found my hobby, this site. The site I started and have ran for years now. A site that’s never even paid for itself, at all. A site I made to satisfy myself and be my personal “safe space” to explore ideas. Any ideas that spark my interest.

Now I’m left standing in judgement for what I’ve made public. Fair? Yes. It’s fair for a man to choose who he hires. Fair for either one of us to decline to be associated at all, for any reason whatever. Fair and right are not the same. I did what I said I would. I preformed in a manner that was respectful, honorable, and sensitive to those around me. I never claimed to be a liberal. I never said I believe in “global warming”. To myself these things are irrelevant, and not concerned with the job. I know who the clientele is, and I know their opinions because they’re impossible to avoid. I would be an idiot, and tone deaf to bring my opinions to the profession I’m in. I know that people believe in their cause, and I respect their right to do as they wish. Furthermore, I understand that our interests meet in the middle, and my opinions are not shared by 99% of the customers we serve. My opinions about anthropomorphic climate change, have remained constant, for my entire life.

So how could I have been successful in sales with such opposed opinions? I just agree with the person paying the bill. If they want to virtue signal, about saving the planet, I offer them the best way I know to reduce their “carbon footprint”. It just so happens to be the best thing for my bank account. This has been good enough to serve myself, as well the community I serve for 20 years now. Until very recently, there was an understanding that people are different, and different didn’t mean evil. Now it is absolutely impossible to respectfully disagree. Still not an issue for myself, but apparently an offense so abrasive as to be ostracized from society.

Racist, sexist, and hateful is what I was called. I’m not any of those things, but I understand how someone might be persuaded otherwise. I guess this is just the new way of life for myself. I am a human being, that has all the hopes and dreams for the future that anyone else does. I talk plainly regarding Israel, the WW’s, and race in general. I speak with such freedom and lack of self censorship because I know my heart. I know I’m not a collectivist, and don’t judge people collectively. I know that I love my daughter, and I only want the very best for her, and women in general. I know that my life has no privilege because I’ve lived it. It’s this self awareness, and knowledge that gives me the nerve to speak openly, and without fear of offense. Because I’m not coming from hate, and am concerned instead with truth. This has been a sign of good character in the past. Today it’s toxic and dangerous.

Today I am toxic, and dangerous. My thoughts themselves are beyond the pail. In this modern world of constant outrage I’ve presented the world with the very weapon they need to destroy my life. I never intended for this to be the noose around my own neck. This was born out of a frustration of censorship, cancel culture, and thought police. I was banned from Facebook for making 2 Covid posts. I am constantly censored by Quora. I simply wanted an outlet for my own thoughts that could be mine. The fact that it’s read by people from around the world, is hardly relevant to my profession. I chose to stand on my own name, and I’ve hated the people that hide behind anonymous personalities. I stand by the things I have said, because I said them. Not to anyone, but I have said them. The fact that it’s been offered up to those who find it, has gained me nothing. It has in fact cost me just about everything.

I’m at a loss people. I can’t unlearn what I’ve learned. I can’t be something I’m not. I can be a great asset to anyone that cares for my merit, and not my personal opinions. Since opinions are likened to assholes, and we all have them, I think it’s dangerous to operate with such callous disregard for the people who you disagree with. I think this was very short sighted and personally, I feel totally taken advantage of.

This man actually involved me with the interview of my replacement. They seemed to use me to vet my replacement. They swore up and down about how much they cared about their employees, and then they behaved just like a big tech giant does. When they get a new bunch of foreigners to replace their current employees. It’s the final insult when the folks on their way out are tasked with training the new guy. It’s not a direct comparison but it’s close enough to feel the same.

The same fella that empathized with me over the way my last job ended, took it a step further than the last. The last guys just strung me along for a few days. This guy did it for 3 weeks, apparently just long enough to get what they needed. I’m literally sitting in my room with an easy ticket out, and trying my best to resist the desire to end this now. If not for fear of my soul I would be a corpse. I have nothing but my opinions, and they have become a noose around my own neck. I’m drowning, and I see no sign of safety anywhere. Only enemies that I didn’t intend to make.

Intentions mean nothing, but these words are weapons. The funny thing is, this weapon is only hurting me, and helping those that wish me harm. I really am thick headed, but hateful, disrespectful, and dangerous to be around? These things I am not. Misunderstood, misrepresented, or just plain hated for daring to speak my mind. Even when it’s solely my own opinion, on a private property I pay to use. I pay for the right to say what I say. I just never expected the costs to be so high.

There it is. My experience with this culture of constant outrage, constant spying, and vicious judgement. I’m told I’m the hater, but I don’t hate. I just made the mistake of being honest. Now I don’t know what to do.

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